Get an instant 50% off Match.com and Ourtime.co.uk?

I don’t know if this works with more aged accounts, but if you haven’t previously joined either of the above then try the following.

Create and then immediately suspend your account. You will then get an email saying you have suspended your account with a link for 50% discount off any subscription. Simples!

If that doesn’t work, try removing your current profile and create a new one under a new email address.

Time wasters and Attention Seekers

Why would you go on a dating site when you’ve actually got no time at all to chat, let alone date!? Now I know that sometimes, the “having no time” is used as a polite brush off, bit on this occasion, she had made the initial contact with me and sent the odd message every few days. I got fed up in the end and just said perhaps we should move on as if we can’t even have a proper chat, what are the chances we will date? Anyway, she’s back on the same site this morning, no doubt finding someone else and waste their time. This was on Plenty of Fish – which being a free site attracts more than it’s fair share of freeloaders, attention seekers and time wasters. I suppose as you don’t have to invest any money, much time or effort into it on there, you get those sort of people. Some of the women on there have been on there for years! And no doubt some of the men too. At least on paid sites people make an effort, in general.

Illicit Encounters

Inflated Membership Numbers

I tend to take any membership number claims, on any site in any niche, with a huge pinch of salt. For example, Illicit Encounters (IE) claims over 1 million members! That’s A LOT of people “playing away”. What it probably more likely means is that they’ve had 1 million registrations over the years since they have existed. Now masses of these will be people who signed up to look around and never went any further and deleted their profile. Another huge number will be those who joined years ago and haven’t logged in for months or even years.

I’m personally only interested, obviously, in who is an ACTIVE member now! When I log into IE the peak number I’ve see for women logged in and online is around 500. I think that tells you all you need to know. Of those actually within about 50 miles of my location who have logged in recently, the number is probably nearer 50. However, due to there not being 100’s of men for every woman on there (I guess because of the £140 subscription!) I’ve managed to chat with a number of women and organised a few dates.

Gender Membership Numbers

Until recently IE used to show the number of men and women currently online. It seems they have now just changed that to a combined single number. Concerning – might their ratio of men to women be slipping? I’ll keep an eye it. UPDATE: seems to have reverted to separate men and women count! Though how accurate they are is anyone’s guess! See how I got on at Illicit Encounter here.

Struggling for Members?

The above, and the fact I keep getting emails from Illicit Encounters admin with offers of free weeks, discounts, etc, makes me think they are struggling to find enough men willing to pay the high membership fees. Be interesting to see what they do in the coming months if they do continue to struggle, if they are. Apparently there are hundreds of new women joining everyday! Not sure about that. Marketing bullshit I suspect.

Suspicious Contacts

It’s been a week since I ended my months membership at Illicit Encounters. Since then I’ve received a number of winks, profile views, virtual gifts and kisses. To an inexperienced user of such sites that would probably be very exciting and would perhaps entice you into rejoining (for another £140!). But being naturally sceptical about how these sites operate I’ve not been enticed yet. The main reason being is that I wasn’t getting many of these contacts during my membership period. I had them before I joined initially. Women do not “generally” make the first move. So I can see a pattern here. When you’re not a member you get these contacts. I do look at the profiles of these women and I can immediately see they would not have contacted me. One was looking for a man a totally different age to me – so why would they contact me? So either it is a contact automatically (or manually) sent to me by the site or the profile is fake and contact is initiated by the sites’ operators to dupe me in to rejoining. Either is totally dishonest! I’m going to contact their support and see what they have to say for themselves.

Are we all trying to punch above our weight?

Sure we all like to ‘like’, ‘fav’, ‘wink’ or send a ‘kiss’ to all the gorgeous people – it’s only natural. But if everyone is doing it what is the point? You won’t get a reply from just that. So, send a real, personal message. I think all the former attempts come from those with little self-confidence or esteem or are just downright shy. Maybe it’s different depending on your gender? In general and in my experience, women like confidence in a man, one that makes the first move and ‘chases’ his target. I’m sure it’s all very primeval and buried in our genes somewhere, but it’s true.

Back to my main point, are we all trying to chase the unobtainable? That beautiful person we would NEVER think of approaching in a bar or club. But because we can hide behind a screen and keyboard we get a false braveness. That can of course always bring out the worst in people, with inappropriate messages and unpleasantness in abundance, making the experience for many horrible and most likely puts them off dating sites for life.

Of course it’s always nice and gives a boost of confidence when one of those gorgeous people replies and I’m pleased to say I’ve had a few surprising responses I was NOT expecting. I must be reasonably attractive after all!

But then I get messages from women who are also trying to punch above their weight. I’m not trying to be unkind. I just think we all need to be realistic. I’m sure they’re all lovely women but there HAS to be a physical attraction, for both sexes. We all imagine ourselves being in bed with these people contacting us, so unless we think ‘phwooaarr!’ it ain’t gonna happen. Unless you’re one of those dreadful men who will go after anything in a skirt, just to get their rocks off. That can only end badly, with someone getting hurt. Don’t do it!! Have respect for others and also yourself.

So, let’s all be realistic and be nice to each other. Take being ignored or indeed rejection with a shrug of the shoulders and move on. You can’t force someone to like you or talk to you!

Surreal Experience

Viewed by and received a message from Emma in Bournemouth on Plenty of Fish – and a nice message at that. Went to reply and she’d blocked me! Go figure haha

Adult Cafe – Another Go!

Only been on there a couple of days and received lots of winks and favourites from scammers – thank fully the site owners catch most of them and delete them. But also supposedly received a wink from a woman fairly local to me. On viewing her profile it appears she hasn’t even logged on in the last month! So these are obviously generated by the site (to the engine behind it) to blatantly deceive and lure men into joining. I will be contacting the site and the company behind the engine (White label Dating I believe) to see what they have to say for themselves! Watch this space.

I need a woman or two! No, not for that!

I’d really like to hear from the other side of the fence. I hear it’s quite an experience!

Ladies, what is the whole online dating experience like for you? Which site(s) have you tried? I want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly! That way I can educate all the men on the right way to do things – a win win scenario I’m sure you’ll agree?

Otherwise I’ll just have to join as a woman and find out for myself. But, I’m busy enough as it is, so would love to hear from you.