Back after a break

Been taking a short break from the dating scene to focus on other things I needed to address but thought I’d get back out there and pass on my latest experiences and thoughts.

I’m currently “dating” a woman – who happens to be married! Don’t go and get all judgemental on me, we’re all adults and responsible for our own decisions and know what we are doing! She decided to look around and we simply started chatting. We usually see each other weekly and not just for bedroom activities! We meet for lunches, walks and general chats. It suits us both and has added a little excitement and enjoyment to our lives. It’s staggering the number of married women out there that are craving some attention and affection and sex! Any men reading this who have partners or wives …. if you’re not attending to their needs (on every level, not just physical!) then they will seek it from someone else. Unless of course they really don’t want you near them which is the case of the woman I am seeing! haha

Flakey, attention seeking bread-crumbers

I’ve recently rejoined for a month, as I suppose in the end I’d like something more than a casual arrangement, but not rushing it. It might happen but not counting on it any time soon and I’m not sure I’m really relationship material – I don’t like being tied down (in any way!) and have a lot of business things I’m working on and they are taking priority at the moment.

After a few days on Match I have had a few hundred views, about 40 winks and 25 “favs” on my profile. I don’t know if that is normal but it does make me think perhaps I’m not a bad looking guy – not that I need the ego boost – I think I have a lot to offer. Now three quarters of those I’m not really interested it – that’s normal – in the same way for every ten women I might contact, only a couple will reply – that’s the way the “game” works.

Now I’m pretty experienced on dating sites now and am getting good at weeding out the time wasters, attention seekers and bread-crumbers (those that just keep you hanging on with a brief message every now and then). Just delete and move on otherwise you’ll just end up getting frustrated or angry and this is supposed to be fun. However gorgeous she might be, don’t chase her. Plenty more women out there!

Also, while a profile gives a certain amount away, you don’t really know what a woman is looking for unless it is explicitly stated. They maybe looking for something long term or friends and see how it goes or, in short, a woman has physical needs too! So don’t assume anything and be open minded and learn to read between the lines. You’ll soon get to figure out what each one wants and, knowing what you want, should help you find what you need.

Just get on with it

I now also will not engage in endless online chat. It’s all really irrelevant if you don’t get that “buzz” when you meet. So within about 10 or so message exchanges I suggest a meet up or cut and run.

What should you expect from a first meet?

I like to see the first meet as just a means of finding out if there is potential for a proper date. No one is their real natural self on a first meet as you’re just trying to suss each other out. I do think some women (and maybe men?) expect fireworks and racing pulses on the first meet and if it’s not there, that’s it. Yes we’d all like to have a meet ending with a passionate kiss – to find that “spark” and instant chemistry. Of course if this were to happen it would be amazing but I think you really need to date a few times to get a proper feel for someone and how you feel about them. Yes, you gotta fancy them (and imagine being naked with them?) but there’s so much more to it than that.

I did meet up with a woman last week and thought personally it had gone very well. We’d got on VERY well before meeting and the conversation flowed when we met. I was optimistic that it could go somewhere. So I was disappointed to get the “nice to meet you but wasn’t feeling a spark” message afterwards. I have no idea what she was expecting if that wasn’t a good first meet – I obviously didn’t moisten her panties – haha! We had a lot going for us. I think she will be looking for a loooooong time. C’est la vie. On to the next.

Tinder and Bumble

I’m still on both of these, get quite a few matches, but find the experience extremely underwhelming. Nothing but fickle and/or attention seeking women who just disappear after a few messages. Still, I’ll keep my profiles and just see it as an added bonus should anything happen.

And it seems that pretty much all the women on there in my “category” are looking for long term. Whatever happened to the Tinder hook-up?

Anything you want me to investigate or try on the dating front?

That’s my thoughts for today – catch you again soon.

Feel free to make comments – all are moderated so no self promotion, spam, dodgy links or abuse.