The following is of course my own personal opinion – no offence! haha

Or put another way, how much should you reveal on your dating profile?

Dating Profiles – cliches

It’s hard to be original and stand out but if I see another profile with statements like these on:

“Family and friends are important to me”
“Work hard, play hard”
“Love my life”
“Live … love …. laugh” – I particularly hate this one! haha
“My kids are my world”
“My life is great – just looking for that final jigsaw piece to make it perfect”

Now I’m not saying those people aren’t being honest but I suspect these are the same people who have those Facebook profiles loaded with images of how perfect their life is – you know the ones!

And those profiles with nothing but Snapchat filtered pics drive me insane! INCLUDE AT LEAST ONE THAT ISN’T “HILARIOUS”!!

Dating profiles – what I’d love to read

It would be refreshing to see:

“My family drive me nuts and I have nothing to do with them”!
“Life can be a struggle with work, kids, mortgage, bills ……”
“I could really do with a hug”
“Love my time away from the kids!”
“Some days I get really down about where my life is going”

I’d personally have much more empathy and a connection with those sort of people. But we’re not going to be so upfront and honest are we?

I suppose it’s a sign of the times we live in – where we’re marketed at relentlessly 24/7 – where we’re constantly told if we just buy that thing or go on that holiday then we’ll be happy. Until of course the next version comes out. It seems to instil a view that we have to “sell” or “market” ourselves in the same way.

It also seems that everyone has to lead an extremely healthy lifestyle these days. I can’t believe there’s enough room in the gyms for ALL the people that claim to go. And I’m amazed at the number of people who go running these days.

The profiles I find most frustrating are those that simply have “Just ask” or “Message me to find out”! To me that shows a lack of effort on their part and that they are actually a little self absorbed. That it’s all about them. They make you do all the work to find out anything about them. So I don’t bother contacting them anymore. I did before if I found them attractive. But in most cases my gut feeling about them turned out to be spot on!

So, for the sake of research on what does and doesn’t work on dating sites, I’m going to change my profile to “reveal” more honest details about myself. Including but not limited to:

Mental issues – they say 1 in 4 have mental issues (I’d say 1 in 2 on dating sites – we’re all on the spectrum somewhere!) yet no one on a dating profile ever reveals that – should they? Yes, I know it’s a very personal thing and not one of the first revelations you’d make to you prospective life partner. But, being someone who has battled depression for 30+ years, I like to be upfront and honest about it – be an open book – helps me by being so. And you also get an immediate reaction – either “I’m sorry, my last partner was a depressive and I found it hard” or “I empathise – I suffer myself”.

So being honest you either don’t waste time or you find someone who maybe on the same wavelength, someone who you can have a mutually supportive relationship with. You don’t have to go into details – just a simple “some days I really struggle with motivation and get down” – I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have days like that. If you don’t tell me what you’re on! haha

Physical intimacy – no, not just sex, but how tactile you are. I personally love to hold hands while out and about, enjoy lots of hugs, like to surprise my partner with passionate kisses at random times and places (always discretely if in public areas!) and like to make love often. Now obviously, I’m looking for someone with the same attitude and appetite. So why wait until weeks or months down the line to find out you’re not compatible on that front. Be upfront and honest about it. Saves everyone time and grief.

Is that too much for a profile? Or maybe reveal such things after messaging for a short while? If we were all as honest we’d save each other a whole lotta time and effort!

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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